*taps the mic*
Hello? Anyone out there? Anybody?
Nobody's excited for the last night of the NBA regular season? Come on, this is how it all ends! This is your last chance to see the Cavaliers, the Hornets, the Kings, the Bobcats, the Rockets, the Nets, the Raptors, the Pistons, the Bucks, the Wizards (God, there's a lot of games tonight), the Timberwolves and the Warriors in action until October! Does that mean nothing to you?
No? Hmm... well, it's your last chance to see Kyrie Irving play until October! What's that? He's not playing tonight? Oh. Ummm....
There's a very good chance that tonight is the last night you'll see Antawn Jamison and Anthony Parker in the wine and gold? You don't care? Well then... um... you can get to see guys like DJ Kennedy, Samardo Samuels and Luke Harangody fight for an NBA contract! That's not enough?
Eh, screw it, you're probably watching the NFL draft. Let's have some fun with this, one last time. Let's go with random rap videos for each quarter tonight.
First Quarter: Sarengeti - "Dennehy"
Serengeti "Dennehy" (via Audio8Recordings)
Welcome to Chicago for some end of the regular season excitement! The Cavaliers sit Kyrie and Omri Casspi. Meanwhile, Derek Rose, Kyle Korver and Luol Deng are out for Chicago. Strangely enough, old man Rip Hamilton starts despite apparently being able to be injured by a strong gust of wind. Somehow, he also racks up three fouls in the first quarter. Just in case it is his last game with the Cavs, Jamison is having a vintage Antawn game and is 2-7 from the floor. Really gonna miss that guy, you guys. Bulls end the quarter with a one point lead, 26-25, Chicago.
Second Quarter: Master P - "Make'em Say Uhh"
Master P "Make'em Say UGH" (via BVMUndergroundHipHop)
The Cavs start the second quarter with three D-League call ups (Manny Harris, Luke Harangody and DJ Kennedy), an undrafted free agent (Samardo Samuels) and Luke Walton. Sadly, they did not roll them out on a gold-plated tank. Not surprisingly, the offense grinds to a halt and the Bulls slowly pull away. Austin Carr and Fred have taken to entertaining themselves by singing on the commentary instead of actually calling the game. I don't blame them, neither team are really playing like it matters because, well, it doesn't. Eventually, the Bulls pick things up and pull out to a 13 point lead. Along the way, Tristan Thompson blocked the shit out of Joakim Noah on a fast-break, which almost made the last hour of this game worthwhile.
Third Quarter: Kurtis Blow - "Basketball"
Kurtis Blow - Basketball (via KurtisBlowVEVO)
Am I the only one who thinks that Kurtis Blow kinda looks like Antawn Jamison in this video? Speaking of, Antawn's vintage night continues. Unless he comes back in the fourth (unlikely), what could very well be his last game as a Cavalier is a 3-13 (1-5 from behind the stripe), 10 point, four rebound night. His veteran leadership though, is off the charts tonight. On the positive side, Tristan Thompson has a double-double with 13 points and 12 rebounds, including a 15-FOOT JUMPER! TRISTAN THOMPSON HIT A JUMPER JUST INCHES INSIDE THE THREE-POINT LINE!
Tempering my excitement for a moment, the Cavs end the third down 18, 80-62, Chicago.
Fourth Quarter: Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Kurupt and Nate Dogg - "The Next Episode"
Dr. Dre - The Next Episode ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt, Nate Dogg (via DrDreVEVO)
Cavs lose 75-107, we all saw that coming, no surprises there. The important thing about tonight is what it means for the future. As I'm writing this, the Cavaliers are tied with the Hornets for the third pick in the lottery. If the Kings win, the Cavs hold that spot just with New Orleans. And you know what that means? Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Harrison Barnes, Bradley Beal, Jeremy Lamb, there's a good chance that one of these kids is going to be playing next to Kyrie Irving next year. And yes, while this season has been rough at times, that's worth the cost of a few painful nights. We'll all forget that 100-50 box score once the Cavaliers are back into respectability. It's looking pretty good.
With that said, it's been fun getting a chance to write for all of you here. It's an awesome community and I'm glad you all have enjoyed what I've written. I'm looking forward to October when I'll hopefully be able to write about some wins for you all. Enjoy your off-seasons!