Note by the author: As it stands, my book has not been accepted by the Leadership to be circulated for reasons of "it will upset a few people". It is fair enough. I will just improve my writing further and hopefully that will convince the Leadership to have this book sold in stores. I shall do whatever it takes to have this book sold. The Leadership will turn the other cheek, and I will make sure that happens. They are the merciful and understanding Leadership. If you still don't believe these memoirs and its vividity, that's your choice. It is, as I've said, not at all fiction. You can choose to believe whatever you want, and you will always have that freedom no matter what. This is the end of this author's note. Godspeed to the Leadership and may Dan Gilbert help us all.
"The Word of Dan Gilbert is absolute."
- Dan Gilbert's magnificent top hat-wearing dog, welcome to a M. Night Shymalan movie in a book
Chapter 2: Okay, Whose Idea Was It To Spill Hell Over?
October 30, 2013
Today, the Cavaliers's NBA Open Season officially started with the Cavaliers facing off against the Nets. I am still in the frontlines of the city (which is called Flagged Line), still trying to pacify our people. The Pessimists formed coherent territories around FTS City, and we, the Optimists, were there to siege them. The songs of Nostradamus and the sound of Word Swords rattling was our only background music other than listening to the radio for the live broadcast of the war game. But, by the time the war game started, I missed it. I was awoken by a certain General NonDairyKreemer, who looked like a tired wreck. His ears suuuuuuure looked cozy in those earmuffs of his. He dragged me out of my sleeping spot and told me to get into battle. All I could hear from that point afterwards was chaos and the unsheathing of Word Swords. After a few seconds of disorientation, I immediately knew what we were about to do. We were going to launch an offensive against the somehow weakened Pessimists.
Still sleepy as fun, I unsheathed my sword and charged into the fight like a drunken man. Act like a drunken man, fight like a drunken man. My Word Sword was completely ineffective against the Pessimists, as all my Word Sword has ever done in this battle is spit unintelligible rambling like "OH GOD NO TRISTIAN" or "YEAHHHHH KYRI3333333". I was so terrible that I can't remember getting attacked by a single Pessimist. The battle raged on as others did the job for me. It was a crushing victory for the newly dubbed "Optimists", with glorious Austin Carr as its leader. We finally reclaimed Flagged Line and the Pessimists seemed to have been quieting down for some reason. This can only mean one thing: The Cavs won against the Nets. The air around FTS City and the Cavs Nation in general was ringing with the phrase "CLEVELAND IS THE CITY WE COME FROM SO RUNNNNNNNNNN WUBWUBWUBWUBCLAPCLAPCLAP"
The next few hours of our victory was filled with parties, a lot of dancing to the same repetitive music, it was truly a mess. It was a good mess, nonetheless. Now, FTS City can relax. The Pessimists have almost completely gone silent, and the Cavs will continue to do good in the NBA Open Season. The Cavs will have another war game against the Bobkitties, to whom we lost to a couple days ago during the Preseason. It should be an easy victory considering how low they are projected to be this Open Season. May Dan Gilbert help us all.
November 1, 2013
I don't... believe it.
The Cavs... lost to the Bobkitties. Again. For the third time.
it was just...
terrible.The situation in the city has completely deteriorated. The songs of Nostradamus have reappeared, and stronger than ever. Right after the war game, the Pessimists rose up from nowhere and completely obliterated our armies by surprise. Heavy causalities for us. Minimal for them. I was absent from this battle, as this overrunning of our forces happened elsewhere. The Leadership is growing concerned.
Almost immediately after the war game, the Pessimists, headed by CleveTown, charged forward from all directions as the Optimists were... extremely optimistic before this game, and left themselves vulnerable to overreaction. The sounds of sarcastic optimism sounded everywhere. Trade ideas battered our brave soldiers. Negativity with no base almost finished them off completely, but we somehow managed to retreat from the battlefield. The Pessimists largely controlled forty percent of FTS City, and rebellions rose up all over the country. Cavs: the blog led a charge all across the countryside, spreading the overreaction. Twitter Town was in a much worse mess than FTS City was, as the Pessimists controlled fifty percent of the entire place.
I am currently being called up for action to the north of FTS City, as our allied intelligence predicted a massive uprising would happen there tomorrow, after another Cavs war game against the Pacers, who beat us earlier in the Preseason. Almost no one expected to win this war game, but we all wanted the Cavaliers to put in a good performance. We hoped that they would win so that it would quiet the Pessimists down a little, considering how good the Pacers are. However, as people are overreacting, we expected more uprisings if the Cavs lost. After all, we lost to the Bobkitties of all teams.
I am currently packing for the northern part of the City, which is called Logo Point. I have previously been a civilian soldier of a Second Lieutenant rank. But now, I am simply just a soldier with a Second Lieutenant rank. My neck is stiff from shaking my head at all of the sarcasm, Nostradamus predictions, and everything else that the Pessimists had to throw at us. Not to mention, I've been hearing a lot of soap operas coming from the inside of people's houses lately, which was kind of annoying.
I have nothing more to write for this entry, other than we will completely crush the Pessimists tomorrow. The brilliant planning of the Leadership will help us defeat the Pessimists. No matter how bad this all is, surely we will turn it around and crush this rebellion. May Dan Gilbert help us all.
November 2, 2013
The war game between the Cavaliers and the Pacers hasn't begun yet, and already the Pessimists set up camp in Logo Point. We were ordered to hide our presence. Spies were sent out to scout the area and the situation. They did come back eventually, with shocking news. The leader of the FTS City Pessimists, CleveTown, was present in the camp. The Pessimists were also mixing a strange concoction in an extremely large cauldron. It was an orange liquid, and that was all they could gather.
Whilst preparing for the assault on Logo Point, I met up with a fellow soldier whom I had already known prior to this uprising, Major kendaru.geter. He had been actively fighting the Pessimists on several fronts already, and amassed many victories over them on his own. Geared up in some kind of wizard
actually cardcaptor sakura cosplay outfit whilst holding a staff, he's been... feared. In a way. I can't really tell for sure how he is, but he is. The first thing he said to me was some kind of diss about my favourite team in another world that I will not talk about in my journal. Just banter, is all. Honestly, I have no idea what we talked about. It was all just words words and more words all over the place.
The game has just started. We wish that they would defeat the Pacers to stop this overreacting Pessimistic madness. While this is going on, the Leadership is chalking up a plan to completely take down the Pessimists before they can do much damage. The Leadership is brilliant and if they are the ones who will make our battle plans, we will absolutely win a victory. It is only a matter of time until the-- CLARK WHY DO YOU DO THIS? May Dan Gilbert help us all and our beloved Cavaliers.
TO BE CONTINUED