Note by the author: It has been a while since I have shown another chapter. I was busy promoting my book around the country and I just did not feel like writing. I also may or may not have been dealing with an ultra-villain former sidekick to Batman called Steve, who fell into a pot of cider and became intoxicated with its power. I apologise to those who have enjoyed the last chapter and was eagerly waiting for the next one. Maybe I will show a little extra today. Since the I have last shown this chapter to anyone, I have shown the last chapter to the Leadership. I did not see any initial reaction from the great and powerful Leadership, but I am confident that this patriotic writing will sway things my way. After all, the Leadership is merciful, powerful, understanding, glorious, inexorable, irresistible, delicious, se-- I think you have gotten my point. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Good lord godspeed to the Leadership, and may *unintelligible ink blots and blurs* ...I'm never eating oranges while writing again.
AND MAY DAN GILBERT HELP US ALL
foodwar machine Anthony Bennett's maybe fake maybe not fake Twitter account, this is The Last Airbender on Fear The Sword Channel
Chapter 3: I thought hell was just a metaphor for lucky leprechauns
November 3, 2013
The Cavaliers yesterday lost their war game to defensive teams in the Eastern Conference of Nations. It was to be expected, but the Pessimists mounted their attack on the areas surrounding Logo Point.
Kendaru kenny.geter, the wonderfully wondrous wizard, fended off most of the Pessimists who were trying jump him by hitting his staff on some strange cards, which seemed to summon some strange entities that utterly destroyed the enemy forces for some strange reason. I'll say that he traveled to the RaptorsNation and lived there as a Private First Class for a while for some more strange reasons. The sound of battle was filled with unsheathing Word Swords, the sounds of Shouting Cannons, and the fists of people hitting the other person's face. The Pessimists immediately gained an advantage from the start as the Pacers were whipping our beloved Cavaliers. Our organisation was a complete mess, and already the Optimists were deserting the battlefield. I was assigned to the SMH Battalion, who used the SMH Snipers.
I am terrible with one sword, and I can only fight well when using two swords. With snipers, I am one of the best. I transmutated many Pessimists with my deadly model Kaczmarek Mk.02, which was named after one of the members of the Leadership. However, this was not enough to push back the Pessimists, as they weathered our storm and went on the offensive. They were transmutating our troops and utterly slashing apart our troops. I tried to snipe as many of the Pessimists as I possibly can. The songs of Nostradamus rang louder, and louder and louder in our ears. CleveTown was the loudest of all as I tried to lower my sniper aim at him. His conductor wand was waving around like mad as he increased the volume of the songs and chanting. My aim was locked in on his head. I pressed against the steel trigger of my Kaczmarek Mk.02, and a single, powerful word bullet was sent flying towards his head. I am not sure how, and why and really how in the world this happened, but I just barely missed. The word bullet hit another Pessimist in the head and sent him flying into the sky. CleveTown noticed this and immediately increased the volume of the songs and chanting as high as he possibly can. All that we were expect was a crushing defeat from this battle.
However, reinforcements from eastern part of the city, Flagged Line, arrived with Major General Patrick Elder spearheading the attack. It was like a Gandalf the White moment, but he looked more like some guy who carries around exercise balls for no reason. He likes Adventure Time. Boo. The Pessimists were caught completely surprised as their own arrogance influenced their mentality, that they were immediately going to win. They let their guard down. Word Swords from the reinforcements pierced the right side of the Pessimist Battalion, and almost completely sliced the Battalion in half. The Pessimists would not give up so easily, as they slashed back. As strong as the reinforcements were, they could not shake the Pessimists. We were given the order to retreat from Logo Point, and indeed we did. A tactical and strategic victory for the Pessimists. They were allowed to keep Logo Point and they lost less men than we did. We were ordered to go home, and we were given a rest day. Which is today. I'm tired. May Dan Gilbert help us all.
November 5, 2013
I'll just say that I'm really really tired of fighting already. I have asked for a five day vacation after the battle yesterday. Surprisingly it was given, and I am now currently relaxing. What happened yesterday was nothing short of a OH THAT WAS SO CLOSE thing. There was another Cavaliers war game today, this time it was versus the Timberwolves. It was a very close game but it really wasn't supposed to be a close game. The Cavaliers completely obliterated the Timberwolves early on and during the midway point of this game, but the Timberwolves made a very late comeback and the Cavaliers nearly lost. Which means they won.
At the same time of the game, The Optimists planned and launched a surprise attack at Logo Point once again. This surprise attack was headed by David Zavac one of the leading members of the Leadership. It was an incredible honour to have him fighting with us. Glory and godspeed to him. He seemed to like to talk to fellow generals and Kenny the Wonderful Wizard for some reason. He was feared for the weapon that all Leadership members possess, the Hammer of Deletion. Austin Carr, the Optimist gave us a realist "letter" through his Twitter before the battle.
"Hello Clevland, it's Game time , Cavs starting out year with some red hot teams, T Wolves playing some great ball"
I was assigned to the SMH Battalion once again for my performance, and was promoted to Lance Corporal. The battle began with the Pessimists unprepared, as David Zavac ran straight into the battlefield with his Hammer of Deletion. Word Guns and Swords tried to transmutate him, but it was useless as his Hammer completely deflected all of their attacks. I transmutated many Pessimists, it was almost like a turkey hunt. The Pessimists began to grind our armies apart when the Timberwolves made that comeback but it was quickly supressed. The Cavaliers nearly lost the war game, but we were on top the entire time. The Optimists chased the Pessimists out of Logo Point, a crushing victory. And so I went home because I have vacation time.
I'm tired. I really am tired of this civil war, and I will at least have a break from it. I'll probably just sit home and drink Coke all day while boarding the hell out of my house, but whatever. A crushing victory, a morale boost, this is good. I will not be returning to the army until the 9th of November, and until then, the Cavaliers will have two more war games versus the Bucks and the 76ers. I am confident that the Cavaliers will win the next war games, and the Pessimists will surely finally back down from this ridiculous Civil War. May Dan Gilbert help us all.
November 6, 2013
The songs of Nostradamus have considerably quieted down. Coke is good. Life is good for now. If sports teams don't go well, then most things in life don't go well for me. May Dan Gilbert help us all.
November 8, 2013
I can hear the songs again. Why? Why why why? I never wanted to hear these songs again! The Cavaliers lost to the Bucks and got blown out by the 76ers, who were supposed to be terrible in war games this year. What is going on with our beloved Cavaliers? What happened to the great Kyrie Irving? What is going on?! Nothing much is working for the Cavaliers right now. These loses gave rise to another offensive by the Pessimists on Flagged Line, Comment Box and Article Image. The Optimists suffered defeats on all three places and had to retreat . The Pessimists are already building a fortress made of stable stable words of negativity on Flagged Line. The Pessimists control seventy percent of the entire of FTS City. I'm going to have my hands full when tomorrow comes by, aren't I? May Dan Gilbert help us all.
TO BE CONTINUED