Kendaru and myself were pretty pumped after the fantastic game one of the NBA Finals so we decided to predict the outcome of game 2 by playing a game of 2K 13. We spent a long time discussing every detail of these two teams to get in the minds of their respective coaches and to mimic their substitution patterns, shot distributions and playing style as closely to the real thing as possible. Keep in mind that we used 5 minute quarters so all you nerds and number humpers can extrapolate our numbers to get your per 48 min scores or per 100 min scores or whichever makes the players you like look best. I've also enlisted the help of the brightest minds at ESPN to help provide some insight on our game; Stephen A. Smith, Skip Bayless and Bill Simmons. The intent was to get them all to out dumb one another until they all quit their jobs. This unfortunately didn't happen but it provided us with some analysis for this post. I once again will be your host because outsourcing hosting jobs to Canada is really in right now seeing as our minimum wage is 25 cents an hour. Let us begin.
Skip: The only reason MY San Antonio Spurs were down two points after one quarter was because TONY. PARKER. IS. TOYING. WITH. THEM. He knows he is in their heads after the first game and after hitting the opening shot of the game deferred to Danny Green far too much in an attempt to lull the Heat to sleep but this is NOT the way to go. He must show that he is Batman in this series and that Lebron James is scarecrow or some other insignificant villain that nobody gives a darn about. He must take the shots or pass to Tim Duncan or Manu Ginobli and nobody else in order to prove that Miami's only championship doesn't count because it was during a lockout season and that Lebron is still the king without a ring.
Stephen A.: Skip Bayless. Before I get into this I must say I love you like a brother. But there has got to be something in your diet mountain dew. Danny Green is an assassin. He's a baaaaaad man and Tony Parker was just finding the open man and it is on Mr. Green light to knock them down. But can we talk about the brilliance of LeBron James. 6-6. Flawless. This is why he is in fact the king and your Spurs shouldn't even play in this series.
Skip: The first quarter king.
Stephen A.: So help me God I will strike your wrinkled ass down.
Simmons: Any time you let Lebron score six layups or dunks in a game you gotta do it.
Alright well that killed a few brain cells. Now in the second quarter there were some interesting coaching adjustments made that resulted in a 30-28 San Antonio halftime lead. Please try to talk about something from an intelligent objective standpoint.
Skip: Greg Popovich is the second coming of my lord Jesus Christ! He knew that Tracy McGrady would be the key to winning this series and didn't even use him in the first game just so he could UNLEASH his secret weapon this game. Spo don't know. He is outgunned and out matched in this game and in this series. The big 6 of San Antonio lead by TWO alpha dogs in Tony Parker and Tracy McGrady followed by Duncan, Ginobli, Kawhai Leonard and Cory Joseph will prove to be too much for the big one of Dwayne Wade and the other two Bosh Spice and Princess James.
Stephen A.: You understand that Tracy McGrady came in and shot 3/10 right? How in the world do you let that man take that many shots in a quarter in an abbreviated game format. Pop has deprived his teammates of sufficient opportunities to make an impact on this chess match and have defecated on the proud tradition of the San Antonio Spurs. They should be embarrassed and even with a halftime lead they should be disqualified and contracted from this league. The only reason they were up was Miami for some reason was attempting to run it's offense through Joel Anthony. A questionable strategy no doubt about it but I have COMPLETE faith that it will pay future dividends.
Simmons: Any time you can let a 40 year old who didn't play a minute in game one launch 10 shots in a quarter of a crucial game you gotta do it.
Fascinating stuff right there. Well after 3 quarters the score is 43-37 for Miami. The Spurs managed to only muster 7 points in the whole quarter compared to the Miami Heat's 15. Parker, Duncan, Wade and Bosh have a combined 8 points after three quarters while both teams have got serious contributions from their bench. The Birdman has 12 points and Tracy McGrady 9 for the Spurs. How significant are these players to their respective teams and why did have the starting players for the Spurs receive so few looks.
Skip: Clutch. Gene. That's what Tracy McGrady has. The game back when he was in Houston where he scored 13 points in 35 seconds against MY San Antonio Spurs was just an audition. They wanted to see if he had it just for this moment. Sure he only hit one three pointer in the third but he was just setting things up for an EPIC comeback in the fourth quarter. The starters for the Spurs understand this and that is why they deferred.
Stephen A.: Let me see if I understand what you're asking... What do the Birdman and T Mac mean to their teams? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This game is about stars. I am boys with both the Birdman and Tracy McGrady. We break bread together and they called me from the bench after this quarter. I put that ish on conference call and I told them. You aren't stars. I know stars. I party with stars. Stars should be taking the shots. Then shots with me if you know what I'm saying. There are big time players on both sides of the court and the people want to see the stars shine. These two will learn this in time and at which point they will understand what it means to be a champion.
Simmons: I have black friends too you know. Speaking of which tune in to me on my couch watching game 3 with Rembert, Jalen and Magic only on Grantland.com.
In your words describe what happened in the fourth quarter before we reveal the final score.
Skip: I got one thing to say about the fourth quarter. Princess James was bailed out by someone with clutch gene stepping up and taking over for him. The Birdman scored 12 of the Heats 15 fourth quarter points as Pop went to the Hack-A-Bird strategy. Lebron was too scared to handle the situation so he kept giving it to the Birdman who was huge knocking in either one or two free throws on each trip down to the line. Even though McGrady hit a clutch runner followed by three consecutive threes to make it a close game once the fourth one missed it was game over. Even though the Spurs lost I think the plan for this game was to get in the head of the frozen one.
Stephen A.: Embarrassing. Birdman and McGrady embarrassed themselves by scoring so damn much. I apologize to America the home of the brave and the greatest country in the entire universe. I know we speak for America in all situations and that's why we have been given this forum on National Television so I'd like to say that we don't want to see Birdman clinch a game. Micheal Jordan never got help from anybody. That's why he averaged 96 points a game in the finals and is the greatest of all time. Pop should be suspended for the remainder of this series for allowing anybody other than Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobli to be on the floor. This game should be played 3 on 3. I am very serious about this and terribly disturbed by the events of last night.
Simmons: I think Tracy McGrady has an opportunity to reinvent himself and enter the irrational confidence guy hall of fame. I think this is something people should discuss more and think about as it's clearly the most important thing going on.
The Miami Heat tie up the series at 1 a piece with the final score of 58-51. Tracy McGrady scored 1,000 points per 1,000 minutes cementing himself as the greatest finals performer of all time if you look at games by this metric. Embarrassing LeBron and his 29 points per 20 minutes. See if this prediction holds up June 9th at 8 om E.T.
You can add Kendaru on xbox live @ kendaru92 or myself at @ jrSUPASTAR11 and if you aren't following us on twitter I don't know what you're doing with your life. I'm at @jrsuperstar11 and Kenny G is @KGeter92.