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FTS Fantasy Football League A: Draft Breakdown and Power Rankings

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via www.bhiveawards.com

Let’s get a few things out of the way first:

A) I am the epitome of an amateur when it comes to fantasy analysis, so this is probably all garbage.

B) This is a 12-team PPR league that starts 1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 2 RB/WR flex spots, 1 K, 1 D/ST, and 6 bench spots. Got it?

C) I’m going to look at each team’s draft in the order that they drafted, give some thoughts, and then drop my post-draft power rankings at the end. This is going to be long because I find it easier to view rosters vertically with line breaks rather than in paragraph form. Not a lot of complex reading there, but it takes up space. Still, grab a beverage and get comfortable.

D) There’s a better-than-average chance I’m channeling my inner Don Draper right now, so… yeah.

To the draft results:

#1 Overall Pick: Red Hot Julius Peppers (Hugh Parent)

1-1: Adrian Peterson (RB)

2-24: Andre Johnson (WR)

3-25: Steven Jackson (RB)

4-48: Wes Welker (WR)

5-49: Danny Amendola (WR)

6-72: Matthew Stafford (QB)

7-73: Steve Johnson (WR)

8-96: Kyle Rudolph (TE)

9-97: Seattle (D/ST)

10-120: Blair Walsh (K)

11-121: Eli Manning (QB)

12-144: Isaac Redman (RB)

13-145: Johnathan Franklin (RB)

14-168: Bilal Powell (RB)

15-169: Roy Helu (RB)

16-192: Andre Roberts (WR)

Hugh went with the daring strategy of auto-drafting, and it may have worked out (which annoys me). Getting Andre Johnson and Steven Jackson on the 2/3 wrap-around in a PPR league is stupid good. Welker and Amendola are going to do Welker and Amendola things, and I have a HUGE mancrush on Stafford this year. My only hope is that Eli somehow ManningFaces all over this team from the bench and dooms it the way he has doomed so many fantasy teams before this one.

Best Value: Steven Jackson at #25 is annoyingly valuable, and I think Stafford will be a monster, but Isaac Redman in the 12th round could be a steal. He has the starting job in that f*cking place while Le’Veon Bell has his foot up his own ass. Any starting running back you can get in the 12th round, no matter how shitty he is, is good value.

Worst Value: Your auto-drafting did what auto-drafting always does: reached on D/ST and K. YOU IDIOT. There’s a reason you wait on these positions, but NFL.com told you to blow it out your ass. Tough break missing out on high-upside guys available in those rounds. But it’s okay. The system knew you didn’t deserve as good of a team as it was giving you and self-corrected.

#2 Overall Pick: Katy Perry Titillation (WitMi)

1-2: Marshawn Lynch (RB)

2-23: Larry Fitzgerald (WR)

3-26: Maurice Jones-Drew (RB)

4-47: Antonio Brown (WR)

5-50: Hakeem Nicks (WR)

6-71: Jason Witten (TE)

7-74: Russell Wilson (QB)

8-95: Jonathan Dwyer (RB)

9-98: San Francisco (D/ST)

10-119: Matt Bryant (K)

11-122: Andy Dalton (QB)

12-143: Bernard Pierce (RB)

13-146: Shonn Green (RB)

14-167: Toby Gerhart (RB)

15-170: Joique Bell (RB)

16-191: Ed Dickson (TE)

So WitMi, LIKE THE SHEEP WE KNOW HE IS, followed Hugh down the same auto-drafting path. His is without a valid excuse (packing for vacation?), and the FF gods will punish him for it. Lynch is in no way #2 value in a PPR league. Antonio Brown will disappoint you like he disappoints everyone. Hakeem "I Forget What It’s Like to be Healthy" Nicks. D/ST and K in the 9th and 10th rounds. SHONN GREEN. You have more handcuffs than the Bunny Ranch, but none of the starters to match. Get on your horse, buddy. You have work to do.

Best Value: It’s obviously MJD at #26. I think he’s healthy and will be a fiend this year, which could carry you out of the auto-draft doldrums. And maybe you’ll get lucky and JAC replaces Gabbert with Henne by week four. Witten’s nice at #71 in a PPR, and Joique Bell has sneaky PPR value for the day Reggie Bush’s legs fall off from catching so many passes this year.

Worst Value: Your entire team? I don’t know. I’m not a fan… Okay, I came back to look at this and decided I was too harsh (though you deserve it for F*CKING FORGETTING ABOUT IT). Dwyer’s on the wrong end of a crappy timeshare, and Andy Dalton in the 11th is wasteful unless you worry about Wilson regressing, but it isn’t the train wreck I originally described it to be. I think you still need a couple of trades or slick waiver wire additions. If only your waiver priority wasn't 11.

#3 Overall Pick: Weeden and Bust (Mr. Zavac)

1-3: Trent Richardson (RB)

2-22: Chris Johnson (RB)

3-27: Aaron Rodgers (QB)

4-46: Lamar Miller (RB)

5-51: Torrey Smith (WR)

6-70: Cecil Shorts (WR)

7-75: Ryan Mathews (RB)

8-94: Kenny Britt (WR)

9-99: Owen Daniels (TE)

10-118: Alshon Jeffery (WR)

11-123: Michael Floyd (WR)

12-142: Fred Davis (TE)

13-147: Ryan Broyles (WR)

14-166: Cleveland (D/ST)

15-171: Brian Quick (WR)

16-190: Sebastian Janikowski (K)

This is a nice little team, but there’s some work to do. Picking one spot ahead of me, David annoyed me on several occasions. T-Rich and CJ2K are nice PPR backs, and you have one of the deepest RB rosters one-through-four. Rodgers is frickin’ Rodgers (dick). However, you’re going to need a couple WRs to pop to keep up in a PPR league. If your WR1 has Joe Flacco throwing him the ball… Well, I’m just glad it’s not my problem. (RBs get shallow quick, but receptions make or break you in these leagues.)

Best Value: If he stays healthy, Ryan Mathews at 7-75 is gold. Considering your other backs, Mathews or Lamar Miller could be useful chips for upgrading at WR. Ryan Broyles is the newest in a line of "Playing Across from Megatron" receivers. If he’s not the same kind of goddamn lunatic Titus Young was (that son of a bitch killed me last year), he could be a strong flex player in a few weeks.

Worst Value: There’s nothing too glaring. Your draft strategy left you short on WRs, so you had to take shots on some of these guys. I bet Justin is already sending you trade proposals for Jeffery. Rake him over the coals if you get a chance.

#4 Overall Pick: Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants (NDK)

1-4: Jamaal Charles (RB)

2-21: Randall Cobb (WR)

3-28: Roddy White (WR)

4-45: Dwayne Bowe (WR)

5-52: Eddie Lacy (RB)

6-69: Matt Ryan (QB)

7-76: Giovani Bernard (RB)

8-93: Golden Tate (WR)

9-100: Brandon Myers (TE)

10-117: Danny Woodhead (RB)

11-124: Knowshon Moreno (RB)

12-141: Zach Sudfeld (TE)

13-148: Sam Bradford (QB)

14-165: New England (D/ST)

15-172: Vincent Brown (WR)

16-189: David Akers (K)

GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR RECEPTIONS. My goal was to grab pass catchers early and often. In a league that plays two flex spots, you gotta hit it hard. A Cobb/White/Bowe trio gives me 3 potential top-15 receivers in a PPR format. I like Shady more than Charles this year, and I like Stafford more than Matt Ryan, but I’m trying to diversify my teams this year and went for new guys. Still, there’s comfort in the safety they project. A nice, loving hug of awesome. Also, Mourt started bitching that Sam Bradford went off the board while Roethlisberger was still available. His whining was delicious. So much more delicious than Red Stag and Diet, you goddamn Philistine.

Best Value: Giovani Bernard is the hot ticket this offseason, but I’m going with the 11/12 duo of Moreno and Sudfeld. If Knowshon gets healthy, he’s the most likely option to be PeyPey’s #1 back, locking up a third starter. Sudfeld is Aaron Hernandez’s less-murdery replacement and gets Gronk’s targets until that big oaf is healthy. New England also gets to tear the Jets’ throats out in week one, so there’s that for my defense as well. (Edit: It's actually Buffalo instead of NYJ, but with that QB situation, the point still stands.)

Worst Value: I needed a RB2, and I know Eddie Lacy is getting some buzz, but I’m not a fan. I had to get someone. Also, I’m doubling-up on a lot of teams (two Chiefs, two Packers, two Falcons), which could be rough against certain matchups and when the bye weeks start rolling around.

#5 Overall Pick: Going Fantasy Foot-balls Deep (Mourt)

1-5: Ray Rice (RB)

2-20: Stevan Ridley (RB)

3-29: Peyton Manning (QB)

4-44: David Wilson (RB)

5-53: Pierre Garçon (WR)

6-68: Mike Williams (WR)

7-77: Daryl Richardson (RB)

8-92: Greg Olsen (TE)

9-101: Denarius Moore (WR)

10-116: Emmanuel Sanders (WR)

11-125: Justin Blackmon (WR)

12-140: Brandon LaFell (WR)

13-149: Dwayne Allen (TE)

14-164: Le’Veon Bell (RB)

15-173: Matt Prater (K)

16-188: Washington (D/ST)

Eh. That’s about it. You took Zavac’s strategy and turned it up to 11. It’s too bad that Ridley doesn’t catch many passes and David Wilson is remarkably boring. Hopefully Le’Veon Bell’s Lisfranc spontaneously ruptures while he’s carrying a tray of used cortisone syringes and stabs old Gray Penis out of the league. A guy can dream. As with David, you need a couple of your WRs to pop to keep your head above water in a PPR league. If you get a legit #1 guy, your team could be pretty strong. Mike Williams is criminally overlooked in this format, but not as a WR2.

Best Value: I think the rumors of Ray Rice’s demise have been wildly exaggerated. Daryl Richardson is a starting running back, at least until Pead gets off the no-no list, so there’s value. Blackmon dropped because of the suspension, but I think he’s good value in PPR. He’s probably at church right now praying for Blaine Gabbert to get into a car accident; maybe you should join him.

Worst Value: Count me as someone who expects PeyPey to regress this year, which is why I don’t love your team. If I’m wrong, then you’re in pretty good shape. Ridley doesn’t catch passes, though, and Denarius Moore plays for Oakland, man. Oakland.

#6 Overall Pick: Domestic Violins (Patrick [RIP])

1-6: Doug Martin (RB)

2-19: Demaryius Thomas (WR)

3-30: Reggie Bush (RB)

4-43: Colin Kaepernick (QB)

5-54: Rob Gronkowski (TE)

6-67: T.Y. Hilton (WR)

7-78: Josh Gordon (WR)

8-91: Sidney Rice (WR)

9-102: Jared Cook (TE)

10-115: Andre Brown (RB)

11-126: Kendall Wright (WR)

12-139: Brian Hartline (WR)

13-150: Rueben Randle (WR)

14-163: LaMichael James (RB)

15-174: Green Bay (D/ST)

16-187: Randy Bullock (K)

This team… I think I like it. It could be a juggernaut. It could also be a dumpster fire if a couple of things don’t fall your way. Does Doug Martin regress in that god-awful TB offense (Josh Freeman, guys)? Can Demaryius Thomas get enough looks among Denver’s loaded WR corps? Was Kaepernick a flash in the pan? Will he be smothered by crazy SF ladyfans? There’s a ton of upside on this team (Kaep, Gronk, Hilton, Gordon), but a lot of risk that could blow your face off.

Best Value: Reggie Bush Reggie Bush Reggie Bush. At #30 in a PPR league? Passing on him was the hardest decision I made during the draft (but not the hardest decision I made last night), and I’m still not sure I made the correct decision. Gronk in the fifth is also amazing value if he only misses one or two games, considering Jimmy Graham went at #17. Cook is a high-potential headcase that could be a great fill-in if he actively chooses not to suck. Andre Brown is in enough of a time share to hurt Wilson’s value (screw you, Mourt!).

Worst Value: I get that Hilton and Gordon have a ton of upside this year, but sixth and seventh rounds seem pretty reachy to me. I think they have more value in non-PPR leagues as big-play guys. But whatever. Also, you need to hope that Kendall Wright hasn’t contracted badkneeitis that seems to be infesting TEN.

#7 Overall Pick: Haters Be Haden (clevy)

1-7: Arian Foster (RB)

2-18: Drew Brees (QB)

3-31: Vincent Jackson (WR)

4-42: Marques Colston (WR)

5-55: Chris Ivory (RB)

6-66: DeSean Jackson (WR)

7-79: Miles Austin (WR)

8-90: Jermichael Finley (TE)

9-103: Anquan Boldin (WR)

10-114: Jonathan Stewart (RB)

11-127: Darrius Heyward-Bey (WR)

12-138: Fred Jackson (RB)

13-151: Philip Rivers (QB)

14-162: Jacoby Jones (WR)

15-175: Arizona (D/ST)

16-186: Josh Brown (K)

Hmm… I am so ambivalent about this team. If Foster’s healthy, he’s a treasure trove of fantasy points. You will have committed theft. If not, then you’re kinda screwed already. Don’t love Vincent Jackson as a WR1 in PPR leagues, but Colston helps assuage the sting of being indirectly tied to Josh Freeman. YOU PICKED A JETS OFFENSIVE PLAYER, CHRIS. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD I NEED TO CALL THE DOCTOR. He’s a starter, but that circus tent needs to burn to the ground. Jonathan Stewart is already hurt. Will Jermichael Finley ever live up to his potential, or just be a dick for the rest of his life? Or both? I don’t even know, man.

Best Value: While every fantasy analyst is running to the Dez Bryant pre-season orgy, Miles Austin’s value has taken a hit. Picking him at 7-79 might be a bit of a reach, but I think you’ll be pleased with him as a PPR flex option. Fred Jackson is an excellent 12th-round touchdown vulture and should give you value.

Worst Value: Chris Ivory is a Jet, so that. I don’t like DeSean at his current draft position, but that’s a personal bias that I’m working on SHUT UP. Even though King Laserface is only your backup QB, I am baffled that anyone drafted him. I think Arizona’s D takes a step back without Horton as coordinator, but it’s a defense. You can stream those each week based on match-ups.

#8 Overall Pick: Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy (?????)

1-8: C.J. Spiller (RB)

2-17: Jimmy Graham (TE)

3-32: Frank Gore (RB)

4-41: Cam Newton (QB)

5-56: Ahmad Bradshaw RB)

6-65: Jordy Nelson (WR)

7-80: Greg Jennings (WR)

8-89: Tavon Austin WR)

9-104: Chicago (D/ST)

10-113: Stephen Gostkowski (K)

11-128: Ronnie Hillman (RB)

12-137: Josh Freeman (QB)

13-152: Daniel Thomas (RB)

14-161: Michael Bush (RB)

15-176: Christine Michael (RB)

16-185: Aaron Dobson (WR)

WHO ARE YOU?!?!? Are you the 15,000,000th person to use that fantasy team name, or the 15,000,001st? Other than that, we have our third auto-drafter. I couldn’t remember if this was the case, but then I looked at those 9th- and 10th-round picks, and it became clear. Spiller at #8 in a PPR league could be huge, and I like it much more than Doug Martin two picks earlier. On the other hand: dem pass catchers, man. I love Jimmy Graham as much of the next guy, especially in PPR, but this may have gotten out of hand. (Same thing happened in my other league.) If he bounces back to 2011 form, he could carry your team, but goodness. You only have four WRs on your team in a PPR league, and your top two 1) has a nerve problem, and 2) has Christian Ponder throwing him the ball. If the auto-draft wasn’t programmed to fill your roster with D/ST and K, perhaps you could have gotten some high-upside guys in those rounds. I like Ahmad Bradshaw as a RB3. Good luck with Daniel Thomas.

Best Value: It could be Cam, I guess. I’ve heard talk of CAR using fewer designed runs for him at the goal line, which could sting, but I still think he’ll punch them in. Otherwise, I’m not sure. If Lynch’s back acts up again, Christine Michael becomes a top-ten back. Cross your fingers?

Worst Value: I can’t give you too much shit because NFL.com’s rankings are non-PPR and don’t care about the composition of your bench. I think so many of those bench RBs are bad value because you already had so many, but you weren’t in control. GET IN CONTROL. I hope you had a valid reason for missing the draft. If not, this team will eat your heart.

#9 Overall Pick: Forte Ounces To Freedom (Justin)

1-9: LeSean McCoy (RB)

2-16: Brandon Marshall (WR)

3-33: Darren Sproles (RB)

4-40: Reggie Wayne (WR)

5-57: Robert Griffin III (QB)

6-64: Mike Wallace (WR)

7-81: DeAngelo Williams (RB)

8-88: Rashard Mendenhall (RB)

9-105: Antonio Gates (TE)

10-112: Houston (D/ST)

11-129: DeAndre Hopkins (WR)

12-136: Jermaine Gresham (TE)

13-153: Santonio Holmes (WR)

14-160: Willis McGahee (RB)

15-177: Santana Moss (WR)

16-184: Greg Zuerlein (K)

Another original team name… Anyhow, I kinda hate your team, because it’s good. LeSean McCoy is going to be a monster. If it wouldn’t have resulted in me doubling-down on him in fantasy leagues this year (or more specifically, if I wasn’t rooting for him to get hurt because he was swiped one pick ahead of me and I have Bryce Brown), I would’ve taken him at #4 instead of Charles. Marshall is a PPR god. So is Sproles as a RB2. Having DeAngelo and Mendenhall as you third and fourth backs is good work. Shitty starters are still starters. I hate Wallace, but as a WR3? I guess I could live with that. You have to hope for three things: 1) Reggie Wayne not turning to dust, 2) RG3 being a close approximation of his healthy self, and 3) Willis McGahee finding a job. Your TEs are junk, by the way, but they’re your TEs. Whatever.

Best Value: I still think it’s Shady, but Hopkins in the 11th could be a good find. Houston has to find a competent second receiver eventually, right? Right? Also, Sproles at 3-33 is huge and I hate you for being the guy who got him.

Worst Value: You voluntarily chose a defense in the 10th round. Voluntarily. You’re dumb and I hate you.

#10 Overall Pick: Crystal Methodists (Luke Williams)

1-10: Calvin Johnson (WR)

2-15: Matt Forte (RB)

3-34: Darren McFadden (RB)

4-39: Andrew Luck (QB)

5-58: Eric Decker (WR)

6-63: Montee Ball (RB)

7-82: James Jones (WR)

8-87: Lance Moore (WR)

9-106: Brandon Pettigrew (TE)

10-111: Bryce Brown (RB)

11-130: Vick Ballard (RB)

12-135: Joe Flacco (QB)

13-154: Malcom Floyd (WR)

14-159: Heath Miller (TE)

15-178: Baltimore (D/ST)

16-183: Steven Hauschka (K)

Owning my favorite team name so far, I kinda like Luke’s team. There are only two things I worry about: Darren McFadden stubbing his toe and missing six weeks, and Andrew Luck making the leap to justify his selection at 4-39. You are buying in, buddy, but I bet he (or a very similar player) would still be there at your pick in the fifth. You missed out on a lot of healthier RB options and/or WRs that have more upside than a member of Denver’s three-headed monster. But hey, if he hits the next level, you could be in great shape.

Best Value: A lot of these guys are personal favorites of mine, for one reason or another. The James Jones-Lance Moore-Brandon Pettigrew run in the middle rounds gets a nice thumbs-up from me. Bryce Brown has value if Shady gets hurt, as long as he learns to stop fumbling the goddamn ball. Chip Kelly’s going to runrunrun. Surprised you took him in the 10th round when you didn’t have Shady, but whatever.

Worst Value: It’s Darren McFadden, at least to me. On a points-per-game basis, he’s great. Too bad that he gets hurt if his trainer glares at him too sternly. You have fun with that injury report, buddy! Also, Joe Flacco can go to hell, and drafting Heath Miller returning from an ACL injury seems like a waste when you could’ve taken a lottery ticket on someone else. I guess he could get healthy.

#11 Overall Pick: The Ottawa RedBlacks (AKAY47, I believe)

1-11: Alfred Morris (RB)

2-14: Dez Bryant (WR)

3-35: DeMarco Murray (RB)

4-38: Victor Cruz (WR)

5-59: Shane Vereen (RB)

6-62: Vernon Davis (TE)

7-83: Michael Vick (QB)

8-86: Tony Romo (QB)

9-107: Kenbrell Thompkins (WR)

10-110: Pierre Thomas (RB)

11-131: Jacquizz Rodgers (RB)

12-134: Chris Givens (WR)

13-155: Martellus Bennett TE)

14-158: Cincinnati (D/ST)

15-179: Markus Wheaton WR)

16-182: Justin Tucker (K)

Another team on which I am torn. I don’t like Morris at all in a PPR league when guys like Forte, Bush, and Sproles are still on the board. Getting big Dez out from under fantasy love-orgy and onto your roster helps. Then you came back with two significant injury risks in Murray (two minutes from getting hurt) and Cruz (already hurt). If they get/stay healthy, they should be really good values there. Vereen could be a great pick, but then you followed it up with Vernon Davis WHO I LOATHE. Taking Vick as your first QB is ballsy, but you turned right around with Romo to be safe. I like your high-upside guys, particularly Thompkins and Givens. If your team stays healthy, you would have as good of a shot at the title had you not picked stupid Alfred Morris.

Best Value: While many rankings have him lower than where you picked him, I like Thompkins as a guy to break out in Brady’s offense. Someone has to catch the ball up there. As far as value against industry ranking standards, I think it’s Chris Givens. That he lasted to 134 is quite something, and you seized the opportunity. Lastly, a healthy Vick might win you the league.

Worst Value: Alfred Morris. Well, not really, but there were definitely better PPR RB options available there (in my opinion). You’re just going to feel salty when Matt Forte is putting up four or five more points every week. It’s okay; we all make mistakes.

#12 Overall Pick: Chris Davis Roid Rage (kendaru—wait, who?)

1-12: A.J. Green (WR)

2-13: Julio Jones (WR)

3-36: Tom Brady (QB)

4-37: Jordan Cameron (TE)

5-60: Tony Gonzalez (TE)

6-61: Steve Smith (WR)

7-84: BenJarvus Green-Ellis (RB)

8-85: Mark Ingram (RB)

9-108: Greg Little (WR)

10-109: Ben Tate (RB)

11-132: Isaiah Pead (RB)

12-133: Mohamed Sanu (WR)

13-156: Jay Cutler (QB)

14-157: Phil Dawson (K)

15-180: St. Louis (D/ST)

16-181: Denard Robinson (RB)

What is this I don’t even… So Kenny made his triumphant return to FTS and just shit on everything. I mean, Jesus. Sitting at the (sometimes) coveted wrap-around at 12/13, I can easily justify taking a stud WR. But taking two? It’s a PPR league, but good god. Brady’s fine, but then: Jordan Cameron in the FOURTH F*CKING ROUND WHAT THE HELL. Of course, the logical thing to do would be to take another tight end with the next pick, because it’s not like we can’t play TE at the flexohwaityoucan’tdothatwhat’sgoingon. Using the seldom-used "draft my first running back in the seventh round" strategy, Kenny finally grabs the Law Firm and Mark Ingram. Woof. I don’t even know what to do with this anymore.

Best Value: Um… I guess Ben Tate? If Foster can’t stay healthy, Tate becomes a top-ten back and helps this team out immensely. Pead may eventually become a starter. I have nothing else to say on this topic.

Worst Value: You have no running backs that matter right now.

Incredibly-Too-Early Pre-Season Power Rankings:

Using a proprietary formula, I have concocted the following power rankings. This early in the process, I tended to value track record over breakout potential (as long as that track record isn’t attached to someone whose age is becoming an issue), and I probably knocked people more harshly than some might when it comes to health risk or return from injury. If you wonder why you’re higher or lower than you think, it’s probably because of health issues or the odds backup RB emerging as the starter. On to the goods:

#1: Forte Ounces to Freedom (I hated doing this)

#2: Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants

#3: Red Hot Julius Peppers

#4: Domestic Violins (the Reggie Bush Effect)

#5: Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy

#6: Haters Be Haden

#7: Weeden and Bust

#8: Katy Perry Titillation

#9: The Ottawa RedBlacks

#10: Going Fantasy Foot-balls Deep

#11: Crystal Methodists

#12: Chris Davis Roid Rage (get a running back and this changes)

This is over 4,000 words. I’m done. Forgive me for any spelling/grammar issues, but I don't have it in me to proof this anymore. Discuss amongst yourselves.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on FearTheSword.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at FearTheSword

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