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FTS Fantasy Football Aftermath: Week Three

And the Roddy White Disappointment Express keeps chug-chug-chugging along...

After a week off to deal with some things, I'm back with your opportunity to gloat and/or complain about all of the fantasy football. To the results for League A.

Dumptrucking of the Week:

Crystal Methodists defeats Haters Be Haden, 157.10 to 97.28 (59.82 margin of victory).

Close Call of the Week:

Katy Perry Titillation defeats Forte Ounces To Freedom, 110.78 to 104.14 (6.64 margin of victory).

Other Results:

Pimpin' Ain't Breesy (166.12) over Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants (130.04)

Red Hot Julius Peppers (144.40) over Chairman Meow (117.40)

Chris Davis Roid Rage (116.40) over Weeden and Bust (85.46)

The Ottawa Redblacks (131.40) over Mort Vader of The Akron Vaders (118.46)

Way-Too-Early Power Rankings (based on past performance, not future projections):

1. Red Hot Julius Peppers: Your team is the best right now, and it's not really up for debate.

2. Crystal Methodists: Current holder of the Dumptrucker Crown, you also would have won it in week two. We were all wrong about your team (so far). You get a bump up to #2.

3. Pimpin' Ain't Breesy: Another 2-1 team that has survived a tough schedule in the early fantasy season.

4. Forte Ounces To Freedom: Big talker gets bumped to #4 for facing BY FAR the easiest schedule of the season (only 288.78 points against).

5. The Ottawa Redblacks: Consistent. That's all I've got.

6. Mort Vader of The Akron Vaders: This feels too high, but whatever. You're sitting with a bunch of us in the middle of mediocrity.

7. Haters Be Haden: Despite being in fifth place, this still might be too high. You are eighth in scoring and are a net -3.24 on the season.

8. Chairman Meow: Original Dumptrucker of the week, you've taken a tumble.

9. Chris Davis Roid Rage: If Jordan Cameron scores 20 touchdowns this year, you just might have a chance.

10. Katy Perry Titillation: You and Kenny finally get one in the win column. Hopefully your schedule gets easier and/or some running backs break their legs.

11. Weeden and Bust: I'm sorry, David. Just sorry.

12. Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants: I don't actually think my team has been or will be the worst, but goddamn do I hate it right now. Facing the toughest schedule so far (456.50 points against) while being sixth in scoring, I didn't have much of a chance. I would be tied for fourth against the entire league, but what're ya gonna do? SOMEONE GIVE RODDY WHITE A MECHANICAL ANKLE.

League 2

Dumptrucking of the Week:

I'm Thinking RB's defeats Use the Schwartz, 158.50 to 93.76 (64.74 margin of victory).

Close Call of the Week:

FOOTBALL defeats lache waco, 93.02 to 86.66 (6.36 margin of victory).

Other Results:

Big Ditka Problems (126.84) over 69ers (76.64)

I get my Weeden Grahams (100.50) over Bridge over Teddied Water (92.68)

Doctor Conrad's Team (132.90) over Garden of Weeden (109.18)

Weeden Start the Fire (152.96) over Burg Dawgs (108.26)

Way-Too-Early Power Rankings:

I haven't been following this league (at all, really), so I'm going to stick with the breakdown rankings that compare each team against the entire league. Mostly, it gets Justin and his OTHER pillowy-soft schedule out of the top spot.

1. I'm Thinking RB's

2. Weeden Start the Fire

3. Doctor Conrad's Team

4. Big Ditka Problems

5. Garden of Weeden

6. 69ers

6. FOOTBALL

6. I get my Weeden Grahams

9. Bridge over Teddied Water

10. Burg Dawgs

11. Use the Schwartz

12. lache waco

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

This is a Fan-Created Comment on FearTheSword.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at FearTheSword

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