Cleveland Cavaliers vs. New York Knicks Final Score: Cavs take comedy show on the road, lose  117-86.

Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sport

Kyrie doesn't want out as bad as we all do.

The Cleveland Cavaliers Comedy Revival Tour is in full swing [laugh track]

They found a way to trail the Knicks (THE FREAKING KNICKS) by 24 at the half. Somehow they found a way to be even worse than that, and lost by 31.[crowd ooooooooooh's, disgustedly]

Everyone sucked. Everyone.

If you're looking for the visual encapsulation to the Cavaliers season, this is probably it:

[laugh track]

Tristan's leg want's nothing to do with the rest of his body, [dramatic crowd gasp] much the same way this team wants nothing to do with one another. [loud awww, standing ovation]

The Knicks entered tonight with a perimeter defense so terrible there is a name for how terrible it is [host showcases FARTDOG for audience], while the Cavs came in with a reputation to protect, a really crappy one. [laugh track] Yet, here we are, wondering how one team can suck so so bad, with so little reason. [sad sigh]

So stay tuned, because if you like a really crappy basketball team, these guys are coming to your town, and are up to the task of out sucking whatever suck your guys are able to conjure up. [raucous applause]

Really though. This morning we heard that Kyrie is telling people he wants out. Maybe he does? Who wouldn't? If you had the chance to help set basketball back about 1000 years or take the chance to jump ship and hope you land on a winning team, you'd probably do it too.

There is not a move that fixes this team, in all likelihood. Chris Grant's masterplan of finding 15 guys that would work so well together at embarrassing themselves at all times has worked flawlessly, and the stench on this team is so absolute that it ruined Luol Deng. LUOL DENG. That poor angel came here expecting to help lead a team to the playoffs, and instead got jumped like that kid with the glow-sticks in Lord of the Flies.

Whatever reasons you had for saving whoever on this team, put the cape down, they aren't worth it.

Editor's note: This is my favorite tweet ever.

ROLL CALL

# Commenter # Comments
1 DannyDaDopest 73
2 AKAY47 65
3 Heureux Bleus 64
4 PyroKinesis 53
5 DukePettyjohn 48
6 kendaru.geter 43
7 duncanmcdougal 38
8 AgentAce 37
9 GunderscoreW 32
10 Cousin_Drew 30
11 robbie.9693 26
12 doindadion 22
13 blackngoldaus 22
14 LawAndDisorder 20
15 MatthewH 20
16 Ensiferum 19
17 ayowler 17
18 Soultown 15
19 OPace 15
20 RoyistheBoy 15
21 Walty 15
22 TV63 14
23 Hugh Parent 12
24 Usman Haseeb 12
25 Privatetoker 10
26 OhThatYoGurl 9
27 HaroldRamis 9
28 Fly2314 7
29 DoughboyBennett 7
30 Unbiased_Truth 7
31 KarasaveUsFromLoTR3 6
32 eajacobs 6
33 Define_Cavalier 6
34 ferhan23 6
35 djones43092 5
36 jsneides 4
37 Jamaquack27 4
38 Patrick Elder 4
39 Adrock2099 4
40 Malta Papi 4
41 Rochester Flash 4
42 cokare15 3
43 CbusCav! 3
44 Dr_B3LL 3
45 Ian Cuevas 3
46 davidzavac 2
47 cleveland_rocks 2
48 JSmooth11 2
49 patrickgalindez 2
50 The GIF Oracle 2
51 Cols714 2
52 Aviate 2
53 Conrad Kaczmarek 2
54 WitMi 2
55 JayxStokes 2
56 kptb 1
57 GFlem 1
58 TheBigCat2192 1
59 JamesPowell 1
60 dere02 1
61 NonDairyKreemer 1
62 OHearniaUD 1
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Fear The Sword

You must be a member of Fear The Sword to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Fear The Sword. You should read them.

Join Fear The Sword

You must be a member of Fear The Sword to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Fear The Sword. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker