Well, luckily Michael Levin is a god send and sent us some awesome information on what to expect from Hawes. Mike and Spencer have a very odd relationship. When Hawes first signed with the 76ers, Mike spoke these words about Hawes:
"It feels like an American flag was just shoved up my rectum and out my throat."
Seems reasonable. He never hated Hawes the person -- this is an essential part here -- but Hawes the basketball player at first. However, Mike and Hawes' relationship blossomed beyond this awful start and culminated in him #HanginWithSpencer when he made a trip to Washington over the later portion of last offseason. This story is legitimately hilarious and amazing. You should all listen to it on the #RightsToRickySanchez Podcast that I linked above.
So to say Mike's feelings are conflicted would be a fair statement. Here is what he told me:
Hawes. Man, it's tough to put aside the middle school crush that's grown in me these last six months and assess him as just a player. I'll try. He's the best. I'll try.
Do not expect a basketball player. Sorry, got ahead of myself. Do not expect something that looks like a basketball player. He's strangely shaped and often lumbering on the court, he'll put goofy english on just about everything inside of 5 feet, and he doesn't run down the court so much as he shuffles quickly. But he's one of the best offensive centers in the game -- for real.
His jumper is legitimate, especially from the top of the key. He'll kill at P&R's with Kyrie even though he doesn't set screens, rather slip through them for a pop. But it works. He's shooting about 50% on straightaway threes, but it feels like 80%. No arc, odd form, all net. Spence can also handle a bit, pass a lot, and be quirky around the rim with floaters, up-and-unders, etc. He'll really be an asset to the putrid Cavs offense, especially if Brown lets him stay out around the three-point line and doesn't Doug Collins him a few steps forward. Huge for spacing.
Defensively.... nah. He can rebound alright -- though all of his rebounds always seem uncontested -- but you don't want his footwork on the perimeter, and you don't want him getting bullied down low. He can block shots a little and I wouldn't say he's an awful defender. Actually, I might. The Sixers are so bad this year that it's hard to judge any individual player on his defense. In a better system (like Doug's was in years past), he can be not a liability, which is something.
And from a personality standpoint, there are few NBA guys that generate more comedy. That's massive value. Enjoy the whole package. He's a great dude with great fingerguns and great hair. Make the playoffs, please.
Thanks, Mike. This, along with #SteveHawes should go a long way towards endearing Hawes to Cavs' fans.