Final Score: Cleveland Cavaliers start vacation early, sleep through loss to Boston Celtics 111-99

Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

I went on vacation once.

In a meaningless game all 15 Cavaliers gave a crap performance that is also meaningless because there is literally no point to these last few games.

When the outcome doesn't matter, people just kind of dick around.

I know this because way back when, I used to take something called the Ohio Proficiency Test. Ohio, and the rest of the United States are real big on standardized testing. Had to take one in 3rd grade I think, one in middle school, one in 9th grade, I mean, we had these benchmark tests all the time.

Anyway, as they are prone to do, decision makers in Ohio decided the process was running way too smooth and sought out a way to completely mess it up. So, they abandoned the O.P.T and invented the O.G.T. What a pile of crap that thing was. I had just taken the O.P.T. the prior year, so they just made us take the O.G.T to "set the curve" because apparently a lot of people were saying it was too hard. Just take the test, but the outcome is meaningless, we were told.

THEY DONE GOOFED.

Apparently we were still supposed to take it seriously, so that they could see if the average 10th grade student struggled with said test. They gave us study guides (I've never studied for a test in my life) and the whole 9 yards.

There was an essay section for the Writing portion of the test. I wrote 2 pages on why Ludacris' :Word of Mouf" CD was probably one of the more inspirational works of it's time.

There was a bunch of grids, for plotting graphs, because I was really to contemplate math on a test that didn't matter. I practiced drawing south park characters.

There was a reading comprehension section, to which I answered all the questions as if they had us read the plot to legendary children's film Richie Rich.

I was pretty thoroughly pleased with myself, and passed them around to my fellow classmates, who also enjoyed it.

Well, apparently that behavior was frowned upon, and I was suspended 10 days for "cheating" on a standardized test and insubordination.

The moral of the story: Sometimes when people aren't given a reason to give a shit, they do hilarious things that you don't know how to appreciate, like make Kelly Olynyk look like a star and mess up the Celtics draft position. Eat it, Boston.

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