The Return of the Prodigal Son (1773) by Pompeo Batoni
From The Gospel of LeBron, Chapter 16, verses 11-32
11 And Jesus continued:
"There was a city that had two sons.
12 The younger one said to his city, 'Cleveland, I want my championships and I want them now.' So Cleveland said go forth, take your talents to South Beach and receive the titles you seek.
13 "Not long after that, the younger son set off for the distant beaches in the South and there boasted 'not five, not six, not seven.'
14 After four years of talent spent he had only received two of these titles and now the plague of age had devoured his team and the young son felt the need to be around young talent once again.
15 So he journeyed to Vegas to find the talents that could best compliment his own.
16 He longed to be around fresh legs and hungry hearts, impenetrable to cramping and yearning for a new start.
17 "When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many stars under 25 reside in my city, and here I am around a bunch of hasbeens over 30.
18 I will set out and go back to my city and say to it: Cleveland, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your blue collared men.'
20 So he got up and went to his city. "But while he was still a long way off, his city saw him and was filled with compassion for him; they ran to their son, threw their arms around him and kissed him.
21 "The son said to his city, 'Cleveland, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. '
22 "But the city said to its workers, 'Quick! Put up the largest banner you can find and let it be known that the King has returned home.
23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. We will make ribs and chili and have a feast and celebrate.
24 For this son of ours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the office. When he came near the arena, he saw the banner and the people dancing.
26 So he called one of the citizens and asked him what was going on.
27 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and our city has killed the fattened calf because we have him back safe and sound.'
28 "The older brother still fuming from the letter he had written many years before became angry and refused to join in the celebration. So the city went out and pleaded with him.
29 But he answered his city, 'Look! All these years I've been selling my soul to David Stern, collecting number one draft picks year after year and yet you never raise a banner of me or make me a feast of chili and ribs.
30 But when this son of yours who has betrayed you with titles in the South returns you chant and cheer and celebrate in the streets!'
31 " 'My son,' the city said, 'you are always with us, and though our young son will always be the star, you own the team.
32 And so we celebrate and are filled with joy, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."