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The Holding Patterns Continue

Here we are, nine days removed from the Cavaliers' elimination from the playoffs, and here we all still sit, beyond enraptured with the process of awaiting moves from both the Cavaliers and, specifically, from LeBron James, and now quickly approaching apathy.  Or maybe the proper word would be resignation.  What is going to happen is going to happen, and of course there is nothing anyone outside of the inner circle can do but wait, and wait...and wait.  With LeBron, unless there is some completely unexpected movement, the holding pattern is likely to continue until at least the beginning of July.  The situation with Mike Brown will certainly be resolved more quickly, but until then...

Airlines did not approach this level of holding patterns after the Icelandic volcano.

It is probably a good thing that there are games, beginning today, every day, at least for a while, although there is a real possibility that both conference finals series might be short ones.  And of course, it is hard to get wrapped up in either series, as whoever wins will not be the Cavs, and the Cavs were the team we were expecting to still be alive at this point.

I don't know about you, but I am becoming numb to the daily speculation/rumor/'reliable source said' drama.  I am especially tired of seeing other cities' writers waxing poetic about all the reasons that LeBron would look so much better playing for them.  And then, of course, there was a story yesterday about how LeBron, playing for New Jersey, would really, really, benefit the New York Yankees.

Well aren't they special?

The only rumor I give credence to was one I heard from my own reliable source last week.  In his scenario, LeBron would do a sign-and-trade with the Cavaliers, and then be shipped to the Neptunians, who have already worked out a deal to send their eight-armed center - Morning-star Many-thumbs - to the Venusians in exchange for the Venusians' guarantee not to tamper with LeBron by offering him season's tickets to the Intra-Solar System Kung-fu and Bowling Classic League and Day-spa.  The Cavaliers, in the alleged deal, would receive starting point guard Jean-Luc Moon and reserve forward Alonzo "Eighth Planet" Parker, from the Neptunians.  The only sticking point holding the deal up is Parker's insistence on receiving a bonus for having to change his nickname to "Third Planet".  LeBron James weighed in, according to my source, saying "Hey man, if I can change from 23 to 6, dude can change from 8 to 3".

You heard it here first.