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Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Washington Wizards: Preseason Shenanigans

The Cavaliers play another relatively meaningless game in preseason against the Washington Wizards. Woo.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

So the Cleveland Cavaliers just played the Chicago Bulls last night and beat them soundly (not soundly) and it was totally smooth and pretty (no it wasn't). Tonight, they play the Washington Wizards at Quicken Loans Arena.

Who? Dion Waiters vs. Bradley Beal

When? 7:30 PM Eastern

Where? Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland Ohio

Where on my eyeballs? League Pass, I guess

Why? Because Bradley Beal vs. Dion Waiters, yo.

I need a song that will get me pumped for this game, can you help?

I suppose -- Sexual Bealinggggggg.

Quick -- tell me exactly what is going to happen tonight, Conrad.

Err, okay. Bradley Beal and Dion Waiters are both shooting guards. They were drafted 3rd and 4th in last year's NBA draft, respectively. They have a vicious rivalry brewing between them (probably not true). Tonight, they meet for the first time in their NBA careers and the stakes couldn't possibly be lower.

Honestly, if you are following Cavs preseason basketball, you know most of the stuff that we've been talking about the past couple of days. Dion Waiters will look to build off his pretty-awesome 18 point game against the Bulls. Bradley Beal will try to stop/eliminate him. That's pretty much it. Rumor has it, there will be no other players and that this is a game that will be simply 1-on-1 for 48 minutes. This 1-on-1 battle between Beal and Waiters will tell us everything we need to know about these two players for the rest of their careers. If Waiters comes out on top, we get to make fun of Washington fans (be sure to mention the Nationals). If Beal comes out on top, we get to pretend that the Cavs made a horrible decision in drafting Dion Waiters instead of Bradley Beal even though this isn't what happened.

Join me, won't you?