The Cleveland Cavaliers Bench is So Bad...

The Cavaliers bench is bad. How bad are they you ask? Well, let's break it down, Yo Momma style:

• The Cavs bench is so bad, I'm jealous of the Charlotte Bobcats' depth.
• The Cavs bench is so bad, Byron Scott doesn't sub them in, the bench physically rejects them every 10 minutes.
• The Cavs bench is so bad, I'd rather stick a hanger on the stove, let it sit there for like a half hour, take it off and stab it in my tongue slow like ssssssssss than watch the second quarter of a Cavs game.
• The Cavs bench is so bad, they scored six points against the Nets and two of those points were off a goaltend from Reggie Evans. Wait, this one actually happened.
• The Cavs bench is so bad, they actually play Luke Walton.
• Donald Sloan is like a nerdy kid who's really into anime, he has no idea how to score.
• Omri Casspi is so bad, he's on the All-Star Ballot. Wait, what?!
• Samardo Samuels is so fat, when he goes to a restaurant, he sits down, looks at the menu and says ‘ok'. I'm sorry, Samardo Samuels WAS so fat, when he goes to a restaurant, he sits down, looks at the menu and says ‘ok'. He's still pretty bad at basketball.
• Jon Leuer's jumpshot is so ugly, it has it's own Craiglist Personals ad.
• C.J. Miles is so bad, he's scored only five more points than he has turnovers and personal fouls combined. Really.
• The Cavs bench is so foul, I thought I heard them quack. That one's a pun on the word ‘fowl', you guys.
• The Cavs bench is so shallow, they make Donald Trump look deep.
• The Cavs bench is so poor, Mitt Romney would openly mock them at a fundraiser.
• The Cavs bench is so un-athletic, they wouldn't be able to pass the Presidential Fitness Test. Remember that from back in grade school? Flexed arm hang, y'all.
• The Cavs bench is so talentless, they make Kim Kardashian look like Bruce Springsteen in comparison.
• The Cavs bench is like the Ark of the Covenant, one quick look and your face will melt off in horror.
• The Cavs bench is like Freddy Krueger, they'll haunt you dreams and turn your days into waking nightmares.
• The Cavs bench is like pomegranates, they suck. Yeah, I hate pomegranates, come at me, bro.
• The Cavs bench is like the movie John Carter, it's a multi-million dollar disaster of historic proportions.
• The Cavs bench is like Rick Santorum's Presidential campaign, it would be funny if it wasn't so horrifying and scary.

Now it's your turn. Keep this going in the comments.