The Cleveland Cavaliers already give us so much in terms of entertainment, passion, etc. So this holiday season, I would like to give back to them. If I were a magical wizard, here's the list of gifts that I would give to some of the members of the Cavs.
- For Kyrie Irving -- a full body bubble suit. He would be required to wear this suit at all times when he isn't at practice or playing in a game. This way, there's no way that he could fall down and break 12 bones or something. Oh, and I'm getting Kyrie a gallon of whole milk too.
- For Tristan Thompson -- some extra soft moisturizing hand lotion. One of Tristan's biggest problems is catching the ball cleanly and transitioning to his next move. Announcers always talk about having "soft hands," so what better than some lotion to get Tristan those silky soft hands.
- For Anderson Varejao -- along the same lines as Kyrie's gift, I'm getting Andy some elbow pads and knee pads. He will wear this at all times so that he never gets injured. He doesn't need a helmet because his gorgeous hair probably provides enough cushioning.
- For Luke Harangody -- a dope Quicksilver hat. I don't care if he's not on the roster anymore, he will always be a part of this family.
- For Alonzo Gee -- a consistent corner three point shot. Do you understand how much more effective he would be if he could knock down that corner three on a consistent basis?
- Dion Waiters -- some respect from the officials. Dion drives to the basket to often, but never gets foul calls. Or maybe I could get him a time machine where we fast forward a couple years to when the officials stop letting him get hacked because he's a rookie.
- Tyler Zeller -- a Bowflex. This dude needs to bulk up.
- Daniel Gibson -- a book full of inspirational quotes and stuff. Because he's probably running of out stuff to tweet at this point, right?
- Byron Scott -- a heart. Who practices on Christmas?