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Cavaliers vs. Bobcats Game Preview: Viewer Discretion Advised

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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING GAME COULD BE THE MOST AWFUL DISPLAY OF PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL....EVER. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Song of the Day: A Dream - Jay-Z feat. Biggie


Tonight's Overview:

Charlotte Bobcats (7-48) at Cleveland Cavaliers (18-36)

The Charlotte Bobcats are not good. Through 55 games, they have just 7 wins and have lost 11 games in a row. After 55 games last season, the Cavs had a record of 9-46. In other words, the Cavaliers that lost 26 straight games were STILL two games better than the Bobcats. That's how bad they are. I implore all of you to pray, cast magic, or offer sacrifice to Jobu to help save the basketball soul of Ben Swanson from the Bobcats. The editor of Rufus on Fire is a great dude and does not deserve this. Tonight, we join him in watching terrible basketball.

So what could possibly be fun about this game between two teams with a combined record of 25-84? Well, let's do a quick rundown of reasons to watch this game.

1. Bismack Biyombo plays for the Bobcats. He's an athletic freak, but he's more raw than Tristan Thompson (I bet you thought that wasn't possible). He's got a ridiculous 7-6 wingspan and is 5th in the NBA in block rate. Even if he doesn't play that well, we'll get to hear Austin Carr try to pronounce his name.

2. You could catch a deadly case of Lesteria. That's right, Lester Hudson is back. The Cavaliers signed the D-League guard to another 10-day contract and we might get a chance to see him go hard in the mother-effin' paint (or perimeter). The chance to see another legendary performance from Hudson is something that I would not pass up.

3. The Indians kind of suck. After 4 games, the Tribe is 1-3 and has already managed to annoy the crap out of me. There's no chance that Chris Perez blows this game against the Bobcats. That ought to be reason enough to watch.

4. You could see history made. What's that, Conrad? History, you say? Yup. History. With a mere 88 points, Antawn Jamison would pass Gail "Stumpy" Goodrich for 44th on the all-time NBA scoring list. Are you really going to miss the chance to see 'Tawn pass the legendary Stumpy? Didn't think so.

5. With all of the injuries on the Cavs and the general lack of talent between the two teams, you might get a chance to play. Who knows? They could finally take my advice and do a special fan giveaway where they pick lucky (and brave) people in attendance to play starting shooting guard for either team. This would be a great opportunity to do it.

Key Matchup:

Antawn Jamison vs. History and Gail "Stumpy" Goodrich

Just 88 points, folks.

Fear The Sword's Fearless Prediction:

I'm going to be positive and say that the Cavaliers take a night off from tankapalooza 2012 to save their dignity. The Cavs will not sink as low as to give the Bobcats their 8th win. Cavaliers win 101-94.