Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Dallas Mavericks: Neither of these teams are very good

The Cleveland Cavaliers begin their Texas two-step in the great (not great) city of Dallas. Howdy, y'all.

Who? Cleveland Cavaliers (22-42) at Dallas Mavericks (30-34)

When? 8:30 PM Eastern

Where? American Airlines Center -- Dallas, TX

Where on my eyeballs? Fox Sports Ohio

Tickets? Cleveland Cavaliers tickets

Music?

We don't have that much time before this game starts and it's a Friday and I'm being lazy. So I basically just asked a couple people on Twitter to provide me some content for this preview. So here's some haikus from Angelo.

The Mavs really suck.

OJ Mayo is crappy.

And yet, they will win.

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Dirk is an old man.

Past the point of no return.

Kind of sad to watch.

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Chris Kamen is gross.

Looks like an X-Files monster.

Will swallow your soul.

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So yeah, those are some poems. And now you know everything that you need to know tonight. The Cavaliers are still without Kyrie Irving, but Shaun Livingston is pretty solid at running the offense. If Dion Waiters can score efficiently, they can probably still compete with a team like the Mavericks. At this point in the season, I just want to watch Tristan Thompson and Waiters do fun stuff.

You want more random stuff? Here you go.

Also, we have this fun story from Jason Lloyd over at the Akron Beacon Journal. Apparently Marreese Speights missed the team flight and had to buy a commercial ticket to meet the team in Dallas. Well done, Mo.

Kirk Henderson (@KirkSeriousFace on Twitter) actually took my request for Cavs-Mavs content seriously and gave us something reasonable:

I've had 64 games to figure out this particular edition of the Dallas Mavericks. I've figured out nothing. They are wildly unpredicatble, capable of putting up 40 points in one quarter and following that up with a five point performance.

Dirk Nowitzki finally looks great, though Dallas doesn't use him like the used to from 2006 to 2011. He mainly catches the ball on the wings and goes to work from the short corner area. This is due mostly to the fact that the guard rotation for Dallas (Mike James, Darren Collison, O.J. Mayo) have zero idea how to use passing angles in a half court set. Dirk's supposed wing man O.J. Mayo changes between brilliant and invisible, and since he's coming off yet another national stage disappearing act, I expect him to do well against the young Cavs guard rotation. The Dallas bench of Vince Carter and Elton brand are fun, at the least. Neither played well against the Spurs and I expect Brand in particular to be out for blood after a really ineffective game against the Spurs. Dallas is still capable of running and gunning on the break, which is where they do most of their damage, but half court they have a maddening tendency to stumble into long twos and turnovers. Brandan Wright has been really fun as of late as well. Can't wait till someone throws money at him despite the fact that he weights 35 pounds.

Defensively, the Mavs are a wreck. Far too many players on the roster (hey there, Darren Collison, O.J. Mayo, Mike James, and yes, Dirk) are incapable of guarding anyone. The younger players in particular are terrible on rotations, usually helping the helper. Crisp ball rotation and some penetration kills the Mavs, as they foul a LOT. Elton Brand tends to help settle things down when he's in there and Brandan Wright is a great shot blocker and a competent help defender, but with a slew of guards who don't move laterally well, teams can easily exploit the Mavs. They also don't defend the three point line at all, particularly from the corners.

I still expect Dallas to win, just because for all their team faults, the individual talents can be pretty dang good. There's no one on the Cavs who can bother Dirk at all, so the Cavs best hope is Mike James Mike Jamesing and the rest of the squad shooting bricks.

I feel like Kirk is underestimating the superpowers of Luke Walton. SMH...hater.

Want more stuff? Here's some insight from Hardwood Paroxysm's Jared Dubin:

Cavs and Mavs, despite both not being the full team name, each end in "avs."

Here's the opinion of Sean Highkin, who appears to be a Portland Trail Blazer's fan:

I really need Dallas to win because they're neck and neck with Portland for 12th in lottery positioning and Charlotte owns the Blazers' pick outside of the top 12.

And this lovely tidbit from some dude named Colin on Twitter:

If Tristan Thompson doesn't go for 16 and 12 I will eat my own shit. Same thing applies to Chris Kaman starting 1-4 from the field.

I don't know what Jameson Draper is talking about here:

Cavs and Mavs may rhyme, but the game won't be close. I'm predicting Conrad to drop 35 tonight on KirkSeriousFace.

Oh and here's a GIF of Chris Kaman screwing up big time.

Enjoy the game!