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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>The situation for the Cavs is this. It's screaming for changes in the rotation to be made. MB is just too stubborn to change</p>— Hiram Boyd (@hiramboyd) <a href="https://twitter.com/hiramboyd/statuses/426197629546950656">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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The rotation just needs a little tweak. That's all.
Somewhere, hidden on the bench is a big that can score consistently. Somewhere, the Cavs have guards that can defend. Somewhere, the Cavs are hoarding reliable three point shooters. Somewhere, the Cavs sit on their hoard of shot blockers, waiting for just the right time to unleash them on an unsuspecting NBA. Yup, just need a little tweak. Kudos should be given to the people that built this literal juggernaut of a basketball team.
Sorry, but the Cavs have broken me. I am notoriously positive. I don't like to waste my time talking about negative things, because I like fun. I live in the most depressed sports market in America. In less than 5 seconds I could find a local radio personality, TV station, or fan on twitter to tell me the sky is falling, so why can't I be different? Why can't I just focus on the positive and hope for the best? #1 overall pick. All star point guard. Fan favorite center. Some young guys that are sure to blow up soon. Traded for an all star small forward. What's not to like?
Apparently a lot, because no matter how good it looks on paper, the Cavs will find a way to lose, and find a way to ruin literally anything. They're the most creative losers on the planet, and they love losing.
#1 and #4 overall picks in the back court? No problem just get shown up by a dude that was on his couch eating pizza bagels playing madden 2 months ago, and Mike Dunleavy's 40 year old son. Seriously. I love Kyrie as much as the next guy but you will have less trouble convincing me that his defense improved when he doesn't approach picks from opposing bigs like an impending shark attack, and opposing point guards stop having career games against the Cavs.
Recently read about how awesome Tristan Thompson and Anderson Varejao have been. Every word of it was true, no sarcasm. They have been great. Not tonight though. Not the Cavs. Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson combined for 35 points, 23 rebounds, 8 assists, and 5 blocks, playing the role of Richard Sherman to the confused and overmatched Erin Andrews masterfully depicted by Varejao and Thompson.
That's what the Cavs do. They take the thing you thought would be a strength, they get you to talk and boast about it, and then they pants you in front of the basketball community and roll around on the ground making fart noises.
The most maddening thing about the Cavs is THIS is what's predictable. I want to love them , so they reel me in, and even when I know it's probably stupid they just look so convincing that maybe this time it's SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM got you again, Mourton. The Cavs capable of stringing together 15 straight good games seem to be Deng, Varejao, and Irving, and you're probably kidding yourself if you think otherwise. I willingly kid myself, hook, line, and sinker.
So for tonight, the internet wins. We are going to stay gloom and doom. Maybe some jokes about gloom and doom, but we're staying there.
I asked about CJ's recent dud fest:
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Find something more predictable than that statline after he spends a week averaging 20 a night, and I'll buy you a bag of cashews.</p>— Ryan Mourton (@Ryan_Mourton) <a href="https://twitter.com/Ryan_Mourton/statuses/426206581542223872">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Miles is about 2 games into a 10 game cold streak...</p>— John Kocher (@jlkocher2) <a href="https://twitter.com/jlkocher2/statuses/424373485024976896">January 18, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Opined on the building of the Hindenburg
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/Ryan_Mourton">@Ryan_Mourton</a> He passed on an airplane, because the hindenburg had more upside.</p>— Adan Christian (@AdanChristian) <a href="https://twitter.com/AdanChristian/statuses/426179908298362880">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Sam Amico was probably more depressing than anyone
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Cavs steal Luol Deng from Bulls, give up no one in return. Bulls beat Cavs 98-87 in CLE w/out Rose, Boozer, Hinrich (and Deng). What now?</p>— Sam Amico (@SamAmicoFSO) <a href="https://twitter.com/SamAmicoFSO/statuses/426177361118109697">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Cavs keep going under screens on Augustin and Augustin keeps making them pay. That's five 3-pointers now and 23 points.</p>— K.C. Johnson (@KCJHoop) <a href="https://twitter.com/KCJHoop/statuses/426175277589209090">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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DJ...... Freaking...... Augustin......
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>CLEVELAND ROAD TRIP TMRW & I JUST FOUND OUT MY GIRL <a href="https://twitter.com/stackmack">@stackmack</a> IS COMIN WITH. ALL-CAPS CAN'T DO MY EXCITEMENT JUSTICE <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23cavs&src=hash">#cavs</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23clevelandrocks&src=hash">#clevelandrocks</a></p>— Julia LeConte (@JuliaLeConte) <a href="https://twitter.com/JuliaLeConte/statuses/426209999543492609">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Let's be honest. You ladies really shouldn't be excited.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/Ryan_Mourton">@Ryan_Mourton</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/JuliaLeConte">@JuliaLeConte</a> hahahah is it a bad thing that I'm packing my stuff in a Bron backpack?</p>— Holly MacKenzie (@stackmack) <a href="https://twitter.com/stackmack/statuses/426211002469060609">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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or just twist the knife :(
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>I miss the days when Cavs games were fun to watch. These days I get basketball joy from watching the Warriors & Pacers. So sad.</p>— Rogelio Piedra (@RogelioPiedra) <a href="https://twitter.com/RogelioPiedra/statuses/426209306841604096">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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yup.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>just got home from the cavs game, lebron was killin it</p>— Sam Forsyth (@markdelfiggalo6) <a href="https://twitter.com/markdelfiggalo6/statuses/426209184799932416">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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That's not. He's Not. No.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Tonight was seriously perfect! From the gluten free hamburger to every single one of the Cavs giving me a high 5!!!! :D</p>— Call me Kate☺ (@katie_allan45) <a href="https://twitter.com/katie_allan45/statuses/426209111185707010">January 23, 2014</a></blockquote>
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WHAT THE HELL THE CAVS LOST AND WHY YOULD YOU WANT A GLUTEN FR..... AGH. IT'S A BURGER. I MEAN.
Yeah I'm done y'all. We play someone else soon. We should probably beat them. We probably won't. Stay warm.