Yes, the trillest article in the blogosphere has returned. If you aren't familiar, this is the space that we use to bring to your attention things that are funny, interesting, amazing, or in need of mocking. Then I set about having opinions on them.
You should probably know
If you tweet me something amazing (@fearthesword, @Ryan_Mourton) I will probably use it. If you tweet me some garbage, I will probably use that too. Hot takes are encouraged, but you're dealing with slander professionals. Make sure that your jokes and feelings are in order, I'd really prefer not to show up in RealGM again.
CAVS BASKETBALL IS HERE AND HAPPENING
LeBron James! Kevin Love! Kyrie Irving! How exciting do the last hundred or so words make you? You're ready to get started and might even be able to run through a brick wall. Nothing could slow this down. Nothing! Unless you read this tweet in Ben Stein's voice:
And David Blatt wins me over with his answer to my question on offensive rebounding. Asks me if I am referencing oRBD rate or totals— David Zavac (@DavidZavac) October 5, 2014
It's actually cool and important, but admit it, you laughed. (Please don't fire me). As an aside, I am pretty sure that is the 200th or so time I've typed the line "please don't fire me".
The Cavs might be good, and there is video!
LeBron's first jumper as a Cav (the second time)... @ Quicken Loans Arena http://t.co/HHMTRc7l5U— Lang Whitaker (@langwhitaker) October 5, 2014
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd Oh sorry, I passed out.
You'll probably want that one back
Oh yeah, There was a game
Not everyone was excited about it, but when life hates hard, just embed their tweets in your blog and make those tongue clicking noises that Hilary from Fresh Prince always made. What? You don't have a blog? Get out of your mom's basement and start having opinions on the world, nerd.
It's early and it isn't NBA competition, but the Cavs have so much spacing out there it looks almost like UNC's four corners— Dave McMenamin (@mcten) October 5, 2014
Cavs a little sloppy, but after 6 minutes, out-rebounding Maccabi 10-1. Get used to it, rest of basketball universe.— Sam Amico (@SamAmicoFSO) October 5, 2014
I don't know the specifics, but combining Kevin Love, Anderson Varejao, Tristan Thompson, and whoever is probably ALL OF THE REBOUNDS.
Tristan throws away a pass and blows a dunk on back-to-back-possessions. Not everything has changed from last year.— Trevor Magnotti (@Tmagnotti) October 5, 2014
BET YOU HOPED DAVID WOULD NEVER SEE THIS, HUH TREVOR? (please don't fire me) ((201....))
Semi-bold prediction: Cavs score 140 in a regulation game at some point this season.— Adam Reisinger (@AdamReisinger) October 5, 2014
Not so bold prediction: Looking at YOU, Knicks and Sixers.
Cavs lead 58-45 at the half. Full stat lines for LeBron (12p, 4r, 4a), Love (7p, 7r, 3a) and Thompson (8p, 8r). Kyrie has 10p, 2a— Dave McMenamin (@mcten) October 5, 2014
It was decently close at the half, which isn't super surprising. Maccabi is a good team, AND has been practicing full bore since August. The Cavs have had 8 days. 8!!
Yah, Dion gonna kill this year.— Hardwood Paroxysm (@HPbasketball) October 5, 2014
ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.
It ddn't end super well for Maccabi
Cavs take the first game of preseason ❤️— hannah✨ (@hannahalexisss) October 6, 2014
Final score: Cleveland Cavaliers get new era off to great start, beat Maccabi Tel Aviv 107-80 http://t.co/GSHwDIu0os— FearTheSword (@FearTheSword) October 6, 2014
After the Cavs outrebounded Maccabi Tel-Aviv by 28, LeBron declared postgame: "We shouldn't lose a rebounding game (all season)"— Dave McMenamin (@mcten) October 6, 2014
Actually, there were a lot of people on the struggle bus
We still love you, Sekou Smith, but you might look 5'2 here.
Thought my dog was coming over to dap up about this Cavs game but nah, just wanted my Doritos. Worst wingman ever.— Ryan Mourton (@Ryan_Mourton) October 6, 2014
I missed the Cavs game because of work and have to wait till midnight for the replay. #pielifechoseme— Eric Felkey (@ericfelks) October 6, 2014
More evidence that Pie has never done anything good for anybody. #ChooseCake
Mom just told me she's trying to get me tickets to the Cleveland Cavs game— K.W✨ (@kayy_woodard) October 6, 2014
She's not on the struggle bus, I just hope she has friends that read this and let her mom know that ya boy Mourt could use some Cavs tickets too.
Gonna be a fun season, tho
Expect to see Cleveland Cavaliers game on 3 nights a week this NBA season smh...dickriding season has begun already, NBA so bias— PicturePerfect-RJ (@NoNonsenseBoxer) October 6, 2014
NBA SO SO SO BIAS