Well, we're at the All-Star break, and much to the chagrin of many a Cavs fan, the team is only sending one delegate to participate in All-Star Weekend. Now, of course, this is a time for many players to, y'know, see their families, relax and avoid basketball for a while. And we at Fear the Sword would never take that time away.
That said, we do have some ideas that we hope the Cavaliers might do with their time off. And they're really good ideas, so take heed, gang.
LeBron James: First off, I hope he has a very nice time in Toronto. Aside from the obvious "please keep working on your three-point shot," I'd like to suggest that he get a new hat. He really favors the same one over and over again, and one member of Cavs Twitter has had it.
bron wearing that dumbass hat— whom (@CSAviate) February 12, 2016
He's got a decent amount of money. You can switch it up, Bron, I promise.
Kyrie Irving: Get those shots up, youngblood. A couple days after I posted fretting about both LeBron and Kyrie's shooting from distance, Kyrie seemed to start rediscovering his form. He's 11-23 from three in his last three games, and I'd love for that trend to continue. Uncle Drew is already a tremendous boon for the Cavs offense, and I can't wait to see what it looks like when he starts raining fire.
Kevin Love: Hang out with some of your teammates, man. I think Kevin needs a buddy on the team. Let's trade for Corey Brewer. That'll make Kevin happy.
Timofey Mozgov: Mozgov has got to get his mind right. He's moving a ton better than he was starting the year, coming off knee surgery, but man, he's still been really hurting the Cavaliers so far this season. It looks like he's lost all confidence in his game, and there's a long history of mental issues messing up big men. I'd really love for Mozzy to start looking more like the dude who was worth two first round picks last year,
J.R. Smith: Watch the three-point contest you weren't invited to be in. In the four games since the field was announced, J.R. has gone insane from three. He's 20-46 from beyond the arc in those four games, and if getting snubbed is going to lead to high-volume shooting like this, I'd like J.R. to keep this in the back of his mind for as long as possible.
Iman Shumpert: Watch the skills competition you weren't invited to be in. Except, in this case, realize you weren't invited because you're not a great creator with the ball in your hands, and maybe should mostly stick to spot up shooting. Sorry.
Matthew Dellavedova: Get healthy and literally don't change anything about your routine. This dude's played pretty much to his ceiling so far this season. I suppose he can work on tightening his handle a bit, but Delly's been the perfect backup PG for this team.
Tristan Thompson: Find a way out of being LeBron's almost-Mario Chalmers. This poor guy gets yelled at after every made bucket for the opposition. Even when it's LeBron's fault, Tristan's gonna get an earful for not rotating over fast enough, rotating too early, or just not being superman. TT's got to deflect some of this onto like, J.R., or something. Can't become known as the guy who gets yelled at all the time.
Anderson Varejao: Continue drinking the elixir of youth. I'm sort of stunned Varejao has been playable this season, and when he's had his small bursts of excellence, it's warmed this cynical old heart.
Richard Jefferson: Hang out with your family, keep putting up jumpers, and take a deep breath when a ref makes a bad call against you. RJ has had some weird mini-meltdowns with officiating this season, something that does not suit his otherwise calm demeanor. Also, it'd be fun if he grew a mustache, or something, while he was gone.
Mo Williams: Get your mojo back, man. This season hasn't gone exactly how Mo probably imagined it would, but he still has a useful role to play on this team, if he wants it. He has to adjust and figure out ways he can help on the margins, no matter how frustrating that might be.
Jared Cunningham: I don't want Cunningham working on his game at all. I want him on LeBron's hip throughout All-Star Weekend, soaking up every party and interaction with a famous person that he can. Not everybody gets to be in LeBron's favor. Better take advantage of it while you can, kid.
James Jones: Can you like, come hang out at my apartment and teach me how to make everyone in the entire world love you? This is the most beloved dude I've ever heard of in any capacity, and I want to know his secret.
Sasha Kaun: Go figure out what happened to your friend, David Blatt. Nobody bothered to tell poor Sasha what happened.