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2015-16 Cleveland Cavaliers superlatives

Introducing the 2015-16 Caval-Yearbook.

FOREWORD: The 2016 Cleveland Cavaliers season has been a roller coaster of emotion. There's been serious rumors, drama and rampant teenage-esque use of social media. You know what that sounds like? High school.

In honor of this team's high-school stylings, the gang at Fear the Sword thought the best way to "honor" them would be to hand out superlatives, yearbook style. Without futher ado, the inaugural Caval-Yearbook.

Most Likely to Have a Xanga: Mo Williams

Alex: The reason nobody has seen or heard from Mo all year is because he's been on Xanga photo blogging the season. It's a full-time gig.

Carter: Life's hard sometimes, man. You need an outlet.

Most Likely to Turn Down a Group Invite to the Movies: Kevin Love

Alex: I heard he is pretty busy being the face of Banana Republic, but maybe next time.

Carter: "Yeah, I mean, who's going? I might stop by."

Most Likely to Be Fired: David Blatt

Alex: RIP

Carter: First line on the job resume: Fighter Pilot

Most Likely to Be Worth His Contract: Tristan Thompson

Alex: Shout out to David.

Carter: *Embeds tweet from like, a year and a half ago where I said I didn't know who'd pay him more than $6-7M*

Most Likely to Be Mistaken as a Ballboy and Be Too Awkward to Say Anything So He Literally Does the Job of a Ballboy for an Entire Practice: Joe Harris

Alex: Joe would do anything to not be traded.

Carter: We'll always have the night where he played 19 consecutive minutes to close a game.

Most Likely to Be Misused By Tyronn Lue: Timofey Mozgov

Alex: In related news Timo is still seeing minutes in games!

Carter: I'm not sure Timo knows how to be used properly anymore.

Most Likely to Be President: LeBron James

Alex: He's got the social media savvy of a presidential candidate, to be sure.

Carter: Zing. ^

Most Likely to Be Shawn Marion in Disguise: Richard Jefferson

Alex: Being LeBron's backup is the Defense Against the Dark arts job of the NBA. Everyone who takes the job dies by the end of the year.

Carter: If anything, given Jefferson's mostly hairless state, wouldn't Shawn Marion be Richard Jefferson in disguise? It's a lot easier to go from Jefferson to Marion than from Marion to Jefferson.