The NBA finals are here and I am so excited. I’m just kidding. This years NBA finals are not something I am interested in watching. Both teams will shoot an excessive amount of three point shots. Draymond Green is probably going to kick someone and Kawhi Leonard will dunk on their whole team including Steve Kerr. Drake will probably "lead" the Raptors to the game seven win. Considering the little excitement and surprise this series has to offer, here are five things I would rather do than watch.
5. Get My Wisdom Teeth Pulled
Getting your wisdom teeth pulled can be a very painful thing. So can watching the same Golden State Warriors team again. People won’t talk about your wisdom teeth for months after it happened. All the bandwagon Warriors fans will be talking for months about how great "their" team is whether they win or lose. Even though they have only been a Warriors fan for a couple years.
4. Listen to Colin Cowherd for One Hour
I’m sorry if you are a fan of his but the times I have tried to listen to him I have either fell asleep or almost broke my phone. A punishment in schools should be taking a class that is taught by him. I just stand to listen to him. Although I might not like him, he is more interesting than watching multiple games of Raptors vs Warriors.
3. Get My Ear Bit Off By Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson is a pretty scary guy. Very tough and can really throw a punch. He is also well known for biting off Evander Holyfield's ear. It would hurt pretty bad but you would be a lot cooler if you told someone Mike Tyson bit your ear off than saying you watched the 2019 NBA finals.
2. Battle Kidney Stones
This has been told to be one of the most painful experiences someone can have. What makes this better than this years NBA finals? Well once kidney stones pass through they are gone. You will hear about the finals all summer. Imagine how great it would be not having to here fans complain about the outcome of the finals.
1. Watch the Ten Hour Video of Kawhi Leonard Laughing
Kawhi is the only player I can really stand to watch. He does great work on both ends of the court. Everyone else just launches three point shots. Kawhi’s laugh is very odd and slightly annoying. It is a lot less annoying than watching the Golden State Warriors shoot three point shots nearly every possession.